I've just (or 3,5 months ago) broke up with someone.

I know I used to spoil you with the details from my sex life and for quite some time now there are nowhere to be find. So is my sex life.

Not only am I starving, but also the side effects become more and more severe.

No motivation for shaving my legs regularly not to mention grooming. (I truly believe that in a week or so my bush will turn into a rain forest powerful enough to provide oxygen for the whole London population to breath with.)

A dream about a threesome with my course mates.

And the worst: chatting with my Mum about BDSM.  Yes. That happened as well.

The last sentence was hers. “You should really start dating again.”

I know she’s right, but I really have the problem with the “I’ve just broke up with someone”. When that excuse goes out of date? How long can I use it until “just” loses it’s meaning?

Charlotte’s rule about the mourning lasting half of the time your relationship didn’t work for me.

I should be up and fucking by the Valentine’s Day.

I’m terrified that after a posh dinner I’m gonna end up with someone in bed/car/restaurant bathroom, come and burst out crying.

Or find myself in a strange apartment with a severe panic attack instead of the usual manageable hangover.

Or  wake up next to a naked stranger in my very own private safe zone of my room and hysterically kick them out before they have the a chance to put their pants back on.

I got a call last Saturday inviting me to dinner. Of course I said no – I was extremely busy watching Doctor Who and sticking nice images cut out of fashion magazines on to my wish list. But the invitation still stand for the next weekend.

  Today we’ve finished one of uni projects. The one that timed exactly my getting back to life. The shooting days were the first ones that I felt grateful I haven’t killed myself yet.

I finally trusted I won’t get psycho after a sip of alcohol. So I have a couple. Right when I started thinking obsessively about my crush showing up in the student’s bar I decided to go home.

And I called the guy. And I’m going out on sat. Nothing serious – legs crossed.