Let's get this party...no, this year started!

Being an egoist in not a matter of a choice. There are people out there saving the kids in Third World countries from hunger and/or lice, volunteer in hospices or start families and produce genetic works of art.  (Like my talented parents with the latest 3 year-old accomplishment a walking masterpiece) We all understand that it’s out of the goodness of their hearts, that is natural.

As natural as keeping your happiness and wellbeing the priority for other people. Now, I find those egoist and altruist mindsets as unchangeable as sexual orientation for instance.

We all pursuit the happiness and there are certain things that make us just that – happy. For some it’s teaching children the alphabet for others shooting meth. And again, as Woody Allen said: “Whatever works”.

Let’s stick to the egoist=gay metaphor. For the last couple of months I was pretending to be straight. I fell in love and did everything straight people do – skyping couple times a day, talking about how the day went and doing my best to stay faithful, even though we promised each other open relationship.

And so, I’ve been cutting out from my life everything that made me: Me. No rainbows, unicorns or Justin Bieber. That was the reason I’ve been so silent recently.

I didn’t realize how exhausting pretending was and how unhappy and miserable I’ve been letting myself be.

The recovery took me a long time and it wasn’t easy. I hate hurting people, but what I hate even more is getting myself hurt to keep somebody happy. Even if it’s a person I still have feelings for.

Anyway, let it be my official coming out. I’m a self-centered, overconfident princess. And I’m proud of it.

As for the New Year – It will be one devoted to a secret plan, travel and some serious self-development work. I’m so glad it’s finally started. And that you’ve viewed my blog over 4000 times. :*